Sapphire Martini with a Twist, Please

Martinis are verrrrry important.

The best description ever, of how to (and how not to) make a martini:

The Dullard Gazette: August 2004

"If you are the sort of fop who worries about "bruising the gin" by over-vigorous shaking, please post in the comments section to explain what that actually means, and I will personally come to your house and rassle you, one-on-one, three pins takes it."